May 1
I'd like to say that I am adjusting to a new normal. But, I'm not there yet.

I'll be honest, when all of this started, I prayed that I could be one of those people who had such grace and dignity that I would hold my head up high, be the model of strength and character and press through with a smile. So far, not so much. The truth about all of this is that it sucks. It just plain sucks. Chemo meds suck. Steroids suck. Checking my blood sugar when I never had to before sucks. Leg cramps. Nose bleeds. Throwing up. Nausea. Missing play-off hockey games. No energy. It all sucks.

But, as is often the case in God's economy, there is equal beauty in the ashes. There are countless reminders surrounding me even now - notes from sweet people - gifts - and tokens that say "we believe" in you, for you, because of you. And my shoulders straighten a little, my head rises a little more with each one.

There's hope for me yet.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.